“People may not remember what you did or said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.”
~ Maya Angelou
Clear, concise writing requires accurate spelling, good grammar, and a decent vocabulary. Good writing does not always translate into effective communication, however. Saying what you mean may be easy, but saying it so it is received in the way you intended is another matter.
If you’re rude or obnoxious, the other party is more likely to close off to your ideas. Much of our communication these days is done in writing–in text, in email, on social sites, etc. I am not going to blame texting or social media for a lack of respect. Any advancement that facilitates communication has the potential to be positive for relationships of all kinds.
Whether you are writing for business or personal reasons, there are some skills that are even more important than punctuation and grammar, and they are not taught in most writing classes.
My advice: Be respectful. Be empathetic. Be nice.
If you find yourself having trouble being respectful or nice, maybe it is communication you shouldn’t put in writing. Or maybe it is an interaction you shouldn’t have at all.
Basic tips when writing:
- Use a greeting, at least in the first round of exchanges. Even if it a person to whom you are close or message frequently, a greeting is a nice gesture and sets the right tone. Also be sure to close graciously.
- Don’t even think about using caps lock.
- Only use the exclamation point if you are wishing a happy birthday, professing your love, or informing someone of a cash windfall. Even then, one will suffice.
- If you think your message may be taken the wrong way, assume it will be. When in doubt, rewrite or run it by someone else for suggestions. Ask questions instead of making accusations.
- Say ‘thank you’ whenever possible.
- Remember that what you put in writing generally cannot be undone.
I had an encounter with rudeness this week. I was shocked and assumed I had not heard the person right until my daughter confirmed that the woman had, indeed, said what I thought she said. Granted, during every one of our encounters, she has been as pleasant and gracious as the alien in Cloverfield.
I have been a professional communicator most of my adult life. That’s rarely the job title, however. You may be a professional communicator if you work in retail, customer service, a service or hospitality industry, journalism, and so on. If you are not a professional communicator, you are probably a communicator, just the same. Do you serve on a PTA board? Do you throw parties? Do you live with other people? Communication is a skill that you can always work to improve, whether it be in person or in writing, in private, online, etc.
I have failed at getting my point across. And sometimes I don’t care if I tick somebody off. But most of the time I strive to at least not be a jerk.
letters! by Mark LaPoint is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://susanlapoint.com
